Golf and Spouses

I recently saw a re-run episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" that I have to mention. It started with Raymond's wife, Debra asking to go to the course with him so they could have "fun" doing something together (like when they were young and dating). Reluctantly, Raymond agrees, and the round starts out well with hubby coaching and wifey listening. But after several holes things turn south when she has had enough of his coaching (and started coach back) and he's annoyed that she doesn't know proper etiquette (her shadow was in his line, and she rolled her eyes about moving it). It comes to a head with Debra yelling "face it Ray, you didn't really want to play golf with me or my shadow!"

I had to laugh because I have seen, heard and experienced this same situation MANY times before in golf and other arenas. So my advice:

* Golf is a great sport to enjoy with your significant other and your kids/family, but its not always easy for people to take coaching and criticism from a spouse or parent.
* Make sure your expectations are realistic. Playing with your family will be very different than playing with your friends, the chemistry and level of competitiveness is not even comparable. Know that in advance and get in the right mindset.
* Set some guidelines for fun: limit the amount of coaching to one or two tips for the day if any!... If someone is having a bad hole, they can use a "magic putt" a "foot wedge" or "skip a hole" if they need to to help move play along and keep everyone happy.
* The course might not be the place to go if your family is inexperienced. Stick to the putting green and create some fun games(a spontaneous putt-putt course) or chipping challenge. Its still time well spent and still qualifies as golfing together.
* When in doubt: PLEASE use me or someone like me as a resource to help make your time on the course with your family a fun one. As a PGA Professional, I can objectively communicate and teach skills, etiquette and be the one to "blame" for bad shots (and good shots!) instead of you :)